The Quality of Mersey

    (Original Words collected by Stan Kelly, Additional Words by The Mersey Wreckers)

1.   When I was young and handsome boys

As handsome as could be

I said goodbye to me mother-in-law

And sailed away to sea, boys, I sailed away to sea.

2.    I signed aboard a dredger boys

The good ship ‘Leaking Sal’

And we set sail for Walton goal

On the Manchester canal, boys, the good old ship canal

     Chorus

            And it’s muddy water everywhere

            And rum we’ll never see

            I scarcely think we’ll get a little drink

            ‘Till we get to Wallasey, boys, we get to Wallasey

3.   Now when we got to Runcorn bridge, boys

The rain began to snow

The wind set fire to the cook-house door

And the engine would not go, boys, the engine wouldn’t go

4.   Well the captain was a chancer, boys

He’d never sailed before

He couldn’t tell the belayin’ pin

From the knob on the wheelhouse-door , boys, the knob on the wheelhouse door

    Chorus

5.   He slept all day on the quarter deck

At night he slept below

He paid the crew a lousy screw

We were glad to see him go, boys, glad to see him go

6.   Now we drifted down to the Pier ‘ead, boys

The snow turned back to rain

The Captain slid off the quarter deck

And was never seen again, boys, he was never seen again.

    Chorus

7.   Now the quality of Mersey, boys

It isn’t strained at all

It’s full of rats and old dead cats

And it tastes like paraffin oil, boys, it tastes like paraffin oil

      Final Chorus

             And we had to drink it every day

             And rum we’ll never see

             I scarcely think we’ll get a proper drink

            ‘Til we get to Wallasey, boys, we get to Wallasey

             I scarcely think we’ll get a little drink

             ‘Til we get to Wallasey.